6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
