He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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