i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
