Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
