I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
