I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize