All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
