The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
