porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
