porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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