Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize