She is in my trunk
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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