i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
