called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My breath smells like gin and sadness
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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