Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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