he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
