David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
