Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
