yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Lo siento on account of my penis...
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
