i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i out mim tonsoeep
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