I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
