Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
