Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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