Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
