What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
