brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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