i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
