ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
