If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize