no, he came in my armpit
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
