he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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