Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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