One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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