i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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