"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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