Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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