This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
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