Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
