I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
