omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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