so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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