her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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