Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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