He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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