I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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