used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
