i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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