I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize