put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
