How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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