we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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