New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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