My boss' voice literally gives me gas
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize
