Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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