i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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