When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you never un-have a 4some
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
