if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize