Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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