she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
