gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
