just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
